Fighting for my children

Well, today was another day that started out with a negative pregnancy test. This failed IVF cycle has affected us just as much, if not more than my miscarriage. It makes us wonder why? Why were we given such high probability of having a baby, and it still hasn't happened? Why is our case of infertility such a mystery to our doctors that have been doing this for years? There really is no explanation for why. All we can do from here is fight for our children and move forward.

I spent all day today calling other offices, researching other doctors and their success rates, and cuddling our sweet children! I could not get through a day like today without them! A friend texted me today and reminded me that this journey of infertility is just one way that us mommy's fight for our children, it just happens to be before they exist. Just like I would do anything for Maddox and Madeline, I will endure the emotional battle and treatments and hours of prayer that it takes for our future children.

I spent at least an hour this morning praying that God would help us know if fighting for a baby is the right thing to do. It's hard to know whether we should just give up, or if we should continue fighting. I think after prayer and a lot of talking and research, we are going to seek other options with two different doctors. We will take our time making any appointments for treatment, but we plan to go to two seminars and open houses to help us get as much info as we can go make an informed decision.

As much as a day like today makes me ask God why? It also makes me remember that He knows exactly what He's doing, and our babies are a constant reminder of that!

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