Patience and Infertility
Baby,
There are several lessons that I am learning through this process, and most of them can relate to other areas of life as well, not just infertility. One of those lessons that has really laid on my heart lately is about patience. Several ares of life require patience, but especially when it comes to infertility.
*** Side Note *** One of the most "annoying" things someone can say to me is, "Just be patient" or "If you are patient, it will happen".
Most people do not know how much patience it takes to tackle fertility treatments. Or how much patience it has taken me to have my blood drawn over 30 times, or to have over 20 sonograms, or to have 2 weeks of injections twice a day, or to take my temperature every single day for 180 days, or to have to sit on the phone for 2 hours and fight my insurance to get them to finally pay $100 out of $15,000 worth of treatments, or to have to wait 13 days for the results of a test that would determine our final cause of infertility, or to have to wait 11 days after the first sight of blood to have a doctor confirm that our first baby was indeed gone, then to have to wait 5 more days before the physical side of that loss came in full force.
Patience.
All of this took an extreme amount of patience. Patience that I thought I could never possess. If you had told me 3 years ago that this is where my life would be now, I would have told you there was no way I could survive this. But here I am.
The comments about patience are just not necessary, and here's why. It's almost as if those comments are making fertility treatments equivalent to impatience. Telling someone going through infertility to just "be patient" is like telling someone who just got married to just "be excited". Patience is the essence of infertility, just like excitement is the essence of getting married, or buying a house, or having a baby.
Fertility treatments do not equal impatience. Just like chemo treatments do not equal impatience.
Sometimes, its not as simple as just sitting back and relaxing and kicking your feet up and waiting for a baby to appear. Sometimes, it takes work. Sometimes, it takes help. Just because someone seeks help with their fertility does not mean they are being impatient. In our case, it means we are prayerfully accepting the reality of our situation. We know and believe 100% that God can take our 1% chance of conception, and give us as many children and He wants. With or without treatments. Just like I fully believe that God can heal someone that has cancer, with or without treatments.
However, there comes a time when faith, trust, reality and proactive involvement have to meet. For us, those things, along with a massive amount of prayer, have led us to IVF. Not because we think God is incapable, but because we believe that this is the means He will use to bless us with children.
All of that to say, we are being patient. Every day, we are patiently praying and waiting to meet you. Every day, we are practicing patience in a way that I never dreamed of, and in a way that I would never wish on my worst enemy. Every day that your room remains empty, we are being patient.
-mommy
There are several lessons that I am learning through this process, and most of them can relate to other areas of life as well, not just infertility. One of those lessons that has really laid on my heart lately is about patience. Several ares of life require patience, but especially when it comes to infertility.
*** Side Note *** One of the most "annoying" things someone can say to me is, "Just be patient" or "If you are patient, it will happen".
Most people do not know how much patience it takes to tackle fertility treatments. Or how much patience it has taken me to have my blood drawn over 30 times, or to have over 20 sonograms, or to have 2 weeks of injections twice a day, or to take my temperature every single day for 180 days, or to have to sit on the phone for 2 hours and fight my insurance to get them to finally pay $100 out of $15,000 worth of treatments, or to have to wait 13 days for the results of a test that would determine our final cause of infertility, or to have to wait 11 days after the first sight of blood to have a doctor confirm that our first baby was indeed gone, then to have to wait 5 more days before the physical side of that loss came in full force.
Patience.
All of this took an extreme amount of patience. Patience that I thought I could never possess. If you had told me 3 years ago that this is where my life would be now, I would have told you there was no way I could survive this. But here I am.
The comments about patience are just not necessary, and here's why. It's almost as if those comments are making fertility treatments equivalent to impatience. Telling someone going through infertility to just "be patient" is like telling someone who just got married to just "be excited". Patience is the essence of infertility, just like excitement is the essence of getting married, or buying a house, or having a baby.
Fertility treatments do not equal impatience. Just like chemo treatments do not equal impatience.
Sometimes, its not as simple as just sitting back and relaxing and kicking your feet up and waiting for a baby to appear. Sometimes, it takes work. Sometimes, it takes help. Just because someone seeks help with their fertility does not mean they are being impatient. In our case, it means we are prayerfully accepting the reality of our situation. We know and believe 100% that God can take our 1% chance of conception, and give us as many children and He wants. With or without treatments. Just like I fully believe that God can heal someone that has cancer, with or without treatments.
However, there comes a time when faith, trust, reality and proactive involvement have to meet. For us, those things, along with a massive amount of prayer, have led us to IVF. Not because we think God is incapable, but because we believe that this is the means He will use to bless us with children.
All of that to say, we are being patient. Every day, we are patiently praying and waiting to meet you. Every day, we are practicing patience in a way that I never dreamed of, and in a way that I would never wish on my worst enemy. Every day that your room remains empty, we are being patient.
-mommy
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